Acting President Raul Castro Boards Plane for Caracas

Minutes ago, Acting President Raul Castro boarded a plane bound for Caracas, Venezuela. Acting President Castro is said to be taking an extended vacation to mourn the death of his brother. Acting President Castro turned his duties over to General Abelardo Colomé Ibarra, who announced that the funeral for President Fidel Castro would be held in Havana in two days time.

USS Aircraft Carrier John F. Kennedy Sinking After Collision

The United States aircraft carrier John F. Kennedy has collided with a support vessel and is sinking, according to media reports. It is ironic that the tool of oppression that the Americans would choose to use against Cuba would be named after the first American President to attempt to invade the island and overthrow our rebellion. It is almost poetic that the carrier named after President Kennedy would be destroyed in this operation.

Weapons Seized from Captured Craft

Cuban naval forces have seized a small vessel holding an immense cache of weapons off the Cuban coast. We can only assume that these weapons are intended for distribution to the so-called "Freedom Flotilla" or to anti-Cuban agitators already on the island.

Invaders Approach Cuban Shore, Sunk by Cuban Air Force

Several boats, apparently lead elements of an invasion flotilla sponsored by the United States government, appeared off the Cuban coast and were attacked by Cuban Air Force jets. Our jets made short work of the invading boats, sinking one and chasing off two others.

Armed Invaders Will be Shot, Unarmed Invaders Arrested

General Abelardo Colomé Ibarra, also a Central Committee member, announced this morning that the Revolutionary Armed Forces would resist any invasion from the United States, regardless of its composition. "Unarmed invaders will be arrested," said General Colome, "while armed invaders will be shot." General Colome added that, if the United States could build a wall separating itself from the rest of America, Cuba must certainly be expected to defends its shores.

Counter-Revolutionary Agitators Arrested

Crowds of pro-American agitators were quickly dispersed tonight by police and by groups of loyal Cubans. Elements of the Revolutionary Armed Forces have been instructed to keep order and protect the lives of Cuban citizens in Havana and other cities from these agitators, who are suspected to have connections with foreign powers. Reports from the international press regarding demonstrations in Havana and Santiago de Cuba are overblown and laced with falsehood.

Executive Secretary Carlos Lage Davila has temporarily stepped down from his post in order to reaffirm his loyalty to the Cuban state and the Cuban people. "I believe that the international media, no doubt supported by the United States, is attempting to drive a wedge between myself and President Castro. I will not allow this to happen," said Mr. Davila.

US Sponsors Exile Invasion of Cuba

President Castro calls upon President George W. Bush to denounce the planned invasion of Cuba from the Florida Coast by a group of exiles. President Castro noted, however, that he does not expected a known war criminal like President Bush to act in accordance with the principles of justice or morality, and stated that the Cuban people would resist the invasion on the beaches.