Friday, March 23, 2007
Yankees Make Fools of Selves at OAS Meeting
Just as President Raul Castro was speaking live to the nation about the future of Cuba, the American ambassador to the Organization of American States declared that "President Raul Castro had died." Perhaps President Bush should award his ambassador the Presidential Medal of Freedom...
Statement to the Cuban People

President Raul Castro made the following statement on Cuban State Television only minutes ago:
People of Cuba. I mourn the loss of my brother, not simply because he was my brother but also because he was a great man. My brother may not have created an independent Cuba, but he nevertheless led Cuba to independence. Only under Fidel Castro was Cuba able to escape the tyrannical domination of the United States. The Yankees, of course, hated him for it, and they are now jubilant at his passing. Even now, Miami Cuban hatch plans to invade our shores. But we will stand firm; we will defend our shores from naked Yankee imperialism, and reassert our independence. We will protect our Revolution not only from foreign foes but from domestic. Enemies of the Revolution, enemies of Cuba, lurk even in Havana, and even in some of our government ministries. I swear to you that they will be rooted out before they can collaborate with foreigners and steal away with our independence. At this moment all of Cuba wishes to mourn; I understand this as well as anyone. But we must be strong, for the Yankees and the counter-revolutionaries sense that this is their opportunity, their chance to destroy the Revolution and render Cuba subservient once again. Have no doubt that we shall be strong.
Viva Cuba!
Viva la Revolucion!
Viva Fidel!
Reports of Protests Are Vile American Lies
An official from the Interior Ministry released the following statement late this afternoon: "The Cuban people remain in deep mourning after the passing of President Fidel Castro. Reports of unpatriotic protests should be considered nothing more than vile Yankee fabrications. The Cuban people remain united behind the socialist government of the Republic of Cuba."
Iran: Condolences on the Passing of President Fidel Castro
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran has expressed his deepest sympathies for the Cuban people in the wake of President Fidel Castro's death. President Ahmadinejad also urged the people of Latin American to take up the mantle of President Castro and resist American imperialism by all necessary means.
Revolutionary Armed Forces Placed on Alert
The Revolutionary Armed Forces of Cuba have been placed on alert to guard against possible infiltration or other aggressive action on the part of the United States or US-sponsored groups. Cuban citizens are advised to be on guard, and to remain in or near their homes.
European Union Expresses Condolences
Jose Barroso, President of the EU Commission, conveyed his condolences to the family of Fidel Castro and the Cuban people. He further stated that the time is ripe for the Cubans to freely express their leadership preferences without outside interference.
Mbeki: Castro "Beacon of Human Freedom and Dignity"
President Thabo Mbeki lauded late President Fidel Castro as a "beacon of human freedom and dignity" today in South Africa, and promised to fly to Cuba in order to attend the funeral at the first practical opportunity.
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Warning!
This is part of a foreign policy simulation. The events described may not actually be happening.